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Monday

Pitty on me. A Blue DAY

I want one. I am gutted my fur coat on ebay went for £12. Not mine, but one i was going to make my property. It was lush, and from Ryde so i could of picked it up. Sat in my room listening to Lykke Li while moaning and being a depressed beast about Alex Bear. Even though were are not together, it hurts to know he wanted to get with some other people. When you feel insecure and inadequate already its hard to believe you can ever be more than that. So when he gets with these girls, and he doesnt want another go with me its hard. Especially when is words are completely diffrent from his actions. I am the most important in his life, and someone he can talk too but he never wants to know How i am or what i am feeling.... See what i mean about condradiction? He thought i tricked him into telling me he was with someone else, but i didnt intend too. I just didnt explain myself, too worked up and upset.
I never did anything wrong, and now i am feeling like i am paying the price. I need to think and see if his friendship and company is worth my tears and anxiousness about myself...

Does it always have to be black and white? Friends or Lovers - no inbetween.

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